I’m a recovering people pleaser
Whist I might find this funny now I am a reformed people pleaser, when I look back it had a huge impact on my denial and suffering.
What under lies the need to be a people pleaser is need for approval. Under that is being able to give but unable to receive.
Under that is a lack of self awareness and over functioning to do things for everyone else while you are at the bottom of your list.
Under that is ugly emotions you are ignoring by soothing them by feeling needed. The emotions are a stomach feeling like an empty pit. A heart frightened you are not worthy of love unless you are indispensable.
Under all that runs unworthiness. Somehow your thoughts believe you are not enough and the voice in your head confirms it.
The very big driver of all this behaviour is simply fear…. fear you will be on your own, abandoned, rejected if you just stopped all that and was just plain old you. Fear of needing to be needed. Fear of knowing how to be independent.
I know this because I was the most proficient yes girl and people pleaser ever! Not anymore but I understand why you are there and how to help you stand in your own power and remove the fear.